Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Kissy kissy and aha moments


Here's a little magnet I made with a cute phrase by Gale. It is 3 inches by 3 inches. It turned out pretty cute, I may make a bookmark with it and maybe a greeting card... who knows.

I'm rather disillusioned with the whole art show/craft show scene. I have a craft show this Saturday and I'm ready to bail. As a matter of fact I'm pretty sure I'm not going now. I feel like we're beating a dead horse here...  I don't know if it's the economy or just the general lack of interest but we (my partner and I) are tired of putting so much into our pieces and just not getting anything out of it, including sales. She's busy, I'm busy and nothing is getting my full attention.

It's a little bit of a relief to say it out loud and liberating. When it starts to feel like a burden, I guess it's just not right. I'll still keep my Artfire and Etsy shop going, and maybe even continue to add items but the shows are just not a viable way for us to sell it seems. I hope to concentrate on my son and spending more time with him as I know these precious years are fleeting. I don't want him to think that Mommy is always on the "puter" and not making things or spending time with him, so I'm going to make a change.

I still plan to blog, as this is an outlet for me and I've made such wonderful friendships with a lot of you. I really enjoy reading your blogs as well. And who knows, this may change in a year or so, I'm rather emotional at the moment so I can't seem to keep my mind made up but my soul feels lighter now that I've decided this and I don't like feeling yucky and not good enough.

So please, keep coming around... you guys are my only cheerleaders since I've lost my mother. Speaking of which the 20th of this month is the one year mark.

*long breath*

a long and lonely year. I miss her terribly and wonder will this pit in my stomach and tears running down my cheeks ever stop?

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3 comments:

  1. I lost both my grandparents when I was 19. I was 30 before I first forgot it was the day my grandmother died. I stopped crying before that, but the pain and missing them is still there. Not as strong, but on occasion. A memory, a smell, a saying can all trigger it. But I promise you, it will get easier over time.

    One year, when I was working in a factory full time and going to school full time, I gave four friends corsages to wear with their dresses to our annual Christmas party. They were silk flowers with tulle, leaves, fabric ribbon bows, and were very well made. I even bought essential oils and scented the flowers.

    People began BEGGING me to make the corsages for Mother's Day. I resisted, but in the end, sold 400 of them. They were all carnations, the colors (or white) of the person's choice, and either 2 or 3 flowers in each. I drove 30 miles a day to work, 30 miles a day to school, then 30 miles home each night. I called it the Bermuda triangle. I would prop wires up against the steering wheel and wrap the stems, leaves, and flowers with floral tape while I drove. I would spend my lunch hour wrapping tulle on wire "picks" and have everything ready to go to make a few more as I drove. I became obsessed. I wanted it to stop. But people kept asking me to make wedding bouquets for them, and after four weddings and 400 plus bouquets, I said I could no longer do it. To this day, I don't touch flowers. I have no floral arrangements in my home. I totally burned out.

    I think you are having a similar, albeit less enjoyable, situation. The frustration is even worse when you spend all your time and energy making things, setting up for a show, and don't sell enough to make your booth rental. You begin to have doubts. You begin to question yourself. DON'T. Don't let that self pity and self doubt creep in. If so, YOU lose and nobody wins. You definitely need a break. You are clever, talented, and just need to take some time away from the "game." And get plenty of rest. Now I must get some, too (grin)!

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  2. Oh Jaime, please don't doubt yourself, especially at this time. It was 25 years on the 3rd since my brother passed and to this day, October, EVERY October is a fragile time for me. Spend lots of snuggly time with your boy, lots of time with your hubby and continue creating and blogging! Those creative outlets are even more of a release than you know.
    BIG Hugs,
    Stephanie

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  3. I will still be here sweetheart when you have the time to Blog! You are such a lovely girl and I am so blessed to have met you through Blogland!

    Love,
    LuLu~*xoxo

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I love it that you are wanting to comment but please know that I have moved my current blog (this is the old host). You can now find me at www.jaimehaney.com/blog and leave a comment there. This very same post is on there, as I have picked up the whole kit and kaboodle and moved it. I hope to see you! Please come by and say howdy!

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