So I'm 40, now what?

I want to thank everyone who stopped by and posted a birthday wish for me today... thank you so much. I am touched to know I have such great friends who truly care about me. I appreciate and care for each and every one of you. I so enjoy reading about everyones lives and ups and downs and thoughts and such. We really are social creatures, aren't we? I get my fix everyday as I peek into your lives through your lovely blogs.

So, today I am 40. Well, technically yesterday since it is 1:23 am as I write this. Nothing really exciting happened to me today. Another decade flew by. I had a fairly normal day, a day in the life... No magical wind blowing in change, no tears of sorrow about turning another year older. It's better than the alternative! But I did feel the many well wishes of my friends. I enjoyed a burnt frozen pizza while Asher had a hotdog. We're a healthy bunch, ya know. Daryl worked as usual. He did buy me some beautiful Wave Petunia's and a sweet card to his credit. I think I'm liking being 40.

I did decide to make some cupcakes for myself and Asher. Actually, it was his idea first... kinda. I told him this morning, since he had forgotten, that today was Mommy's birthday. The first thing he said to me was "but where is your cake?" gotta love him. A boy truly after my own heart. So this evening I looked through the pantry to see what was quick to whip up. Nothing is quick to whip up. I had a box cake... fine. I had fudgey icing that I know for a fact is pre 1995. I opened it thinking... what could go bad? Well it stunk like plastic and rancid oil. It was Pillsbury Lovin' Lites. Who remembers those? So I tossed it and made my own with Hershey cocoa (their recipe) and I don't think I'll ever buy that plastic tub again. I let Asher decorate the finished cupcakes and I'm still stepping on those tiny little balls in the kitchen. Do you know how hard it is to sweep those things up? He loves to bake and help with things in the kitchen except the cleaning up part. So I had to post these cute pictures of him enjoying the process.

Well the hub bub is over and I've decided to update my profile picture to the one I posted as my last day in my 39th year. I didn't do it on purpose, the blurriness, but I love what Rebecca of Knee Deep Studios said about it... "I love how it's blurry... echoes the blur between our 30th and 40th years, how we often see ourselves, the waves of life we encounter, the changes that happen oh so slowly but surely until one day, we look at ourselves in the mirror and hopefully say... "I like who I've become." Well, Rebecca, I think I do like who I've become. I hope we all can say that. Good night friends (or good morning!)

My last day in my 30's

The end of an era has arrived and now I am looking down the throat of a milestone. 40. The Big Four Oh. Tomorrow at precisely 10:17 am I came into this world 40 years ago. My dad always says well you are actually already in your 40th year... yeah, yeah Dad...

My dear mother always called me at the exact time and would tell me the story all over again, as how it was raining like crazy, thunderstorms and she stepped out of the car into a water puddle. How she was drugged, even though she gave natural child birth, she was in and out of it. I guess that's what they did back then. She had long beautiful hair, down to her waist and the nurses were all fussing about it, "what are we going to do with this hair?" She, in her drugged state, was terrified they would cut it off. They didn't.

I cannot believe I am at this major milestone in my life and she isn't here to share it with me in person. She is in my heart and on the tip of my tongue all the time, but she isn't here to laugh with and hug and tell her thank you. She would always make my most very favorite dessert for my birthday, Boston Creme Pie, and no one can make it like she did. Not even me, not that I won't try. She used an iron skillet to bake the cake in and came up with a magical concoction for the yummy rest. She's done that for as long as I can remember. I miss her terribly.

I have decided that in my 40's and forever more... I am going to do what I want to do to please myself and not care about pleasing everyone else, which I think most of us do. I'm not going to become this uncaring person, but I'm going to try to let myself be free to act the way I feel inside and dress the way I feel inside and not worry about my body not being the ideal size. I want to truly be myself and I think time is the only thing that will allow us to do that. To be true to oneself that is.

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.
Farewell, my blessing season this in thee!

Shakespeare. He had it going on. Or at least he had a whole lot of meanings floating around and pretty ways to say them. Either way, I like this one for sure.

I'm not nearly as deep as this all sounds. Anyone who knows me, knows that I am a jokester more than a deep thinker. But I do think deep sometimes... more now than ever. I think about life, death and my son and his life for the future. I think about how I wish things to be different but know that in 20 years or even less... things will be different. I think about how my mom lived just a few months longer than her mom and wonder if I too have the same fate and my son who is an only child will bury his mother at too young of an age.

Yes, 40 brings with it a certain freedom. Freedom from trying to be something I'm not and the freedom to re-create myself to what I hopefully will like. I like to think I'll be free with myself to be who I am in my heart... maybe I'll be like one of my most memorable and earliest influential art teachers, Mrs. Schenk, who was such a free spirit and obviously didn't care what anyone thought of her as she wistfully floated around the classroom with her scarves to "A Starry starry night". I hope I feel that sort of freedom.

working on more

Aren't these pretty flowers? I picked them from the side of the road yesterday not far from my house. They smell divine. I think they are some sort of wild phlox. They sort of smell like honeysuckle... mmmmmm

I am getting things ready for our show this Saturday and managed to list a new Mother's Day card for Single Mom's last night on Etsy. Printing cards and creating new images and will be matting and framing up stuff all week. I really wanted to have time to do a few more painted pots because I really enjoy painting them and think the show arena will be a better venue for the pots as apposed to Etsy because the shipping has to be so high. But I'm not sure I have enough time. I fear we are going to get rain on Saturday and that is a bummer. We've had an extremely dry April and now this weekend of all weekends, it might make up for it. :(

Gale has come up with two more Mother's Day poems, so I'll be making two more designs for sure. They are really sweet writings and I know they will be well received. Our stuff seems to be really liked in person, I guess people just can't understand how it will look in person when they see it on Etsy. We're not doing so well on Etsy.

Here is our Vietnam Soldier montage that I think turned out pretty nice. I am hoping to get it photographed today and possibly listed for Etsy by bedtime tonight. I think it will do well at the show. We are offering 2 versions, one will be like shown here and the other will be offered customized to have a soldier's photo and name and dates on it in the right hand corner. There is also a monument of our version of the "wall" in Evansville on the customized version.

Have a great day everyone!

past midnight posting

Well I've been catching up on my favorite blogs tonight and thought I'd post something just real quick. Nothing really important... just little things from my day.

Pretty day today, but chilly and breezy. So I stayed in a while and worked on a new piece for GeeJayCreations. It's a montage for Vietnam Soldiers. Gale's husband was a Vietnam Vet and she wrote it for him a while back. I'll post it in a day or two. I also finished up a card for Mother's Day. It has Gale's poem about single moms and is real cute.

I can't believe Mother's Day is catching up so quickly! I better be listing it on Etsy asap! While on the subject of Etsy. I actually forgot to pay my Etsy bill this month on both of my shops! Yikes! I'm going to get kicked out or thrown into Etsy jail. Surprisingly, there were no late fees.

Not sure if I mentioned it already, but Asher got his first bicycle for his 4th birthday this March. But today was the big day that we all went riding together on all of our bikes in town (New Harmony, IN). We went to a park that has a playground in the center of what resembles a racetrack with blacktop around so you can walk, ride bikes and believe it or not drive on. The second he saw the playground, all bets (and bikerides) were off. We did talk him in to one lap of biking and of course he was so excited that he fell right away on the blacktop. Splat. That one wasn't too bad, but then he did it again. and again. This time crying and holding on to me, he finally understood that you have to look forward while you ride and not backwards, I hope.

The hubs had to go in tonight around 5pm so Asher and I went to Wallyworld to get groceries and poke around. He managed to shake me down for 2 new construction toys, another backhoe and another dump truck. This kid has more construction equipment than Quakers got oats. It's partly my fault, too. Oh well. But I getting tired of not being able to sit on my own couch because it is his "road". He really needs to lighten up. Only child thing.

Oh! and I saw a shooting star tonight on my way home! They make me so happy!! Of course I made a wish... but I can't tell you what it was or it won't come true. So you'll have to just wonder, sorry! haha

Just so you know, Monday and Tuesday's moon are in the best time to plant, lunar-ly speaking that is. The moon will be in Cancer starting early Monday morning, and Cancer my friend, is the best time to plant. Now go out and plant something!

later, taters

Deadlines VS Sunshine... who will win?? + Giveaway!

The one week count down is on to my next art show... I've got to keep going but the sunshine and abnormal temperatures are whispering my name!! we've had 20 degrees above normal for the last week and it has given me summer -itis. It shriveled my tulips... but man it feels great.

I'm passing on a giveaway of a fellow blogger friend... Lulu Kellogg. She is having a giveaway of a beautiful necklace in honor of her 400th post. Make sure you stop by her blog to enter to win this little cutie shown below. While you're at it follow her, because she's pretty cool and has great wit.

A little news on our homefront... my husband spent the last dime plus some of our tax money 2 weeks ago and this week our transmission went out on our truck. $$$ big bucks. :( Murphy strikes again.