An awakening of something deep

This past Sunday afternoon I had the TV on while I was puttering in the kitchen. I had the OWN channel on (Oprah Winfrey Network), and I have to admit I usually don't have her channel on much, I really don't watch TV much period it's just on making noise in the background. 

I guess we do register what we hear in the background because I pretty much stopped all I was doing to watch this program even though I had just caught about the last 20 minutes of it. It was Super Soul Sunday which I hadn't heard of before and Oprah was talking with this man that I had never heard of named Dr. Wayne Dyer. What an enlightenment. I was entranced and I wanted to hear more.

What this man was talking about, how he spoke, his demeanor and all of what he was saying struck such a chord with me. I was enthralled. Before I knew it the show was over and as I was going over what I had heard in my mind, the next program came on. It was a movie with Dr. Dyer in it as himself called The Shift. Wow. I watched with full attention. I even would pause the show and take notes. Tears streamed down my cheeks through much of the show, I'm not sure why. Maybe because I identified so much with the mother in this story. I know I was deeply touched by what he was sharing. I am emotional now just remembering it and writing this.

I find myself wanting to learn more and read or hear more of what he is teaching. If you are like me and had never heard of Dr. Dyer see his website here. He is a renowned author and speaker in the field of self-development. His newest book is Wishes Fulfilled, Mastering the Art of Manifesting. He has many many more.

I live with a lot of negativity around me, as many do, but I think often of choosing to be happy and after seeing these programs I know I'm on to something. What he has to say, if you listen, may just change your life. I think that it is changing my life and I plan to run with it.

Old Man Sun - where are you?

Old Man Sun

We are having torrential rains right now and the sun is playing peek a boo. At least a little earlier he was. Weather channel said we could get 6-9 inches of rain by Sunday! I have no idea where it's going, because we have had too much already. I wish it would save a little for July and August when we'll really need it!

I was cleaning out a closet in my studio and found a large drawing pad that I had forgotten had some pieces in it. some are finished but there are one or two that I may actually go in and tweak and finish. Do you do that? Work on art you had created a long time ago. I come back to it with fresh eyes for sure, but also a bit of appreciation for who I was when I created it and sometimes I surprise myself with "hey, that ain't too bad".

So it the case with Old Man Sun. (His colors here in this photo are washed out more than the original.) I'm not sure why I never took him out of the pad, I may have not been happy with him. But looking at him now, I appreciate him and feel he is indeed finished and worthy of framing. I am finding I'm wanting my work around me for me to see. I have never done that. It's always stayed filed away somewhere or given away as I purchased others work that I felt was "fit" to display in my home. It is part of me and even though it's not perfect by any means... it is something I've touched and created. It came from my creative brain. I somehow forgot that I am a creative being after having a child, even before while I had my 8-5 "creative" job. Busy with life.

Being in the last half of my life changes things. I'm thinking this way because I have a birthday coming up, next week on the 28th to be exact. It's taken me this long to accept who I am. Imperfections and all. There are days that I still question that statement. As I saw a quote on Gloria's blog which resonated with me, "A great artist I'm not, but an artist I am". I just love that. I'm more excepting of that now. That is her own quote.

Has everyone been checking out Paint Party Friday? I've got a little pepper series going. I am loving this PPF, it keeps me accountable! I am creating more and thinking more creative than I have in a long long time. You should check it out, even if you don't consider yourself an artist, you would be amazed at how art is healing to your soul.

In other news, I'll keep this short I know I've gone on and on here. My son is having surgery again. This time to have tubes put in his ears and his tonsils and adenoids taken out. I'm not looking forward to the surgery which is May 2nd, but look forward to him being well. He has sleep apnea and I haven't slept for a whole night for who knows how long. The doctor says I'll have a different kid after this is all over. He is wild and apparently sleep deprived. Sleep deprivation has lots of very bad affects on the human body, especially a little body that is trying to grow! Say a prayer for him, please.

You are worth the time

I had to share this in case you are like me and have not seen it yet. This moved me to tears as it rings so true to my life and I know so many others. Let it give us courage and strength to continue to create through life's adversaries and nay sayers. Enjoy...

Thank you, Jan Phillips (creator). If you go to her website, she is giving a free downloadable book called The ARt of Original Thinking - The Making of a Thought Leader.

Momentary lapse of reason

Have you ever had these? I'm not talking about the great album by Pink Floyd but those times that you make decisions without thoroughly thinking them through. I do that seemingly more and more. Without going into detail of all my absent minded decisions, I will tell you that I spend more time thinking "what was I thinking?" than actual thinking. Like giving a four year old a large glass of chocolate milk right before bed. Okay, I let one slip out.


I think I'm going to adopt "a momentary lapse of reason" as my new catch phrase and explanation of all possible unsavory decisions. Lately, during the repercussion of such decisions self-loathing and self doubt starts to creep in. I've started thinking of all the stupid things I've done or are still doing and wonder how have I gotten to this place? Why can't I stop myself? Most importantly, why do I continue to make such poor decisions and why can't I focus?


Is it turning 40? Is it being 40 with a 4 year old? Is it the beginning of life knowing that I don't know as much as I thought I did. I used to fancy myself as a fairly clever person but now maybe I'm clever enough just to realize that I've been wrong all along. Maybe this is the beginning of enlightenment. Albeit enlightenment too late, I've already made the bad decision or poor choice but enlightenment none the less.


Just where this post has gone is beyond me. I'm having a strange day. Here is a beautiful picture of the wheat field just down the road. I cannot tell you how relaxing this spot is. A warm setting sun on my face a gentle breeze in my hair and the red winged black birds singing their beautiful song in my ear... and then it ends. My son screaming from the car.

An update on the kitten situation... Mama cat has moved the kittens and I cannot find them anywhere. I also have not seen Mama for a couple days so I can only imagine the kittens are turning into ferocious felines without my constant handling like I had planned on doing. Also, Banshee (my husky) is doing well and the medicine seems to be making her more comfortable. She is getting some evening bouncing back and she is loving the new 4 treats a day crackers with Glucosamine in them.