Monday, May 31, 2010

Happy Memorial Day

I want to thank all the service people who are or have served for our great country. God Bless America and God Bless you.

I haven't posted a new blog post lately. I have been distraught and Banshee has not returned home and I cannot find her. I am just sick. I feel almost like I'm betraying her by posting again, without talking about her and I also feel people are sick of hearing the story. I look everyday, I've spent countless hours driving around slowly extending my perimeter if she's gone further. 

Strangely enough the other day I drove into the driveway only to have a black and white husky looking at me. At first glance I thought Banshee? Some one has found her and even groomed her, since this dogs fur was nice and groomed and clean and short. But within seconds I realized that the bounce in this dogs step and whining for me was not my Baby Girls. Almost cruel I thought. Is this the heavens sending me a new dog? This was clearly a very young dog. It's manners were not very good yet, it jumped all over me and it took me a while to decide to let my boy out of the car. It immediately jumped on him. But once we paid attention to it, it calmed somewhat. I found a note on my door telling me that she thought she had found my dog and to call her if this was not her. What a coincidence, huh? I fed the cute little guy and then I called the lady and she came back to get the dog.

So I can only deduct that the people that told me they had seen Banshee, had probably seen this young husky instead. I thought about taking a picture of it to post, but time slipped away quickly and the lady came promptly to get him. They could easily be confused from afar.

In happier news, we took our boat out for the first time this year. We hadn't taken Asher in the boat yet, but he loved it. We went to Kentucky Lake and Barkley Lake the next day. My mother in law just lives about 25 minutes from them so we had a place to stay overnight and a built in baby sitter for a late night steak dinner from our favorite Texas Roadhouse on Saturday night. We did have a good time, even though I was sad from Banshee missing and the fact that another holiday has come and gone without my mother. I miss her terribly still and now worry for my dad. He is in a depression and I don't know what to do for him.

Well, I didn't mean for this post to be so long, so if you're still with me, thank you! I'll be visiting everyones blog soon. Hope you all had a great long weekend.

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Glimmer of hope

I just got back from another 1 hour drive around the area in my car. I took Asher out in his jammies because at 8:42 this evening I got a call from a nice lady who saw one of my signs that I have out for Banshee Missing and she told me she saw Banshee walking on a gravel road not far from my place at all last night. I was so excited, I stopped making us dinner (I know, a late dinner) and we jumped in the car to look again with this new found hope.

She was scared of Banshee and didn't stop to check her tags, which I'm not sure if they are even on her. Banshee is ominous looking.. much like a wolf but she is harmless unless you try to grab her collar, she doesn't like that. She is really friendly actually.

It's a stormy evening and I know she is freaked out with the thunder and the lightening. I couldn't find her, but at least I didn't find her on the side of the road, hit by a car... thank God. Asher asked why are you in such a hurry? I said, I don't know but I just feel the urgency. I have hope again!!

I'm on the look out again come tomorrow. Your prayers must be working... keep them up!

Banshee update

Sadly, my Banshee is still not home. I think there is only one answer at this point, that she has run off to die somewhere. I don't understand why she wouldn't want to stay home to do this, but I feel she will not return. I look for her all the time. When I get within miles of my home, I practically run off the road searching. Asher asked me yesterday after getting groceries and coming home, why are you driving so slow? I'm looking for Banshee.

I can't believe that she wouldn't be able to find her way back home, do you? It is always sad to lose my animals. I have lost quite a few during the last 8 years or so. It's like part of my heart being wrenched away from me. 

Banshee got her name the first night we had her. We had her in a kennel right beside our bedroom door and she howled and screamed all night long like a banshee! Her name was sealed. She entered our hearts before we even got to bring her home. We went to the breeder and picked her out and couldn't bring her home yet because she was too young. Having a husky is a little different than having other types of dogs we found out. They are solitary animals and they rarely bark. She was also very headstrong. She was insistent that she was to be an outside dog. I wanted her in, but she loved it outside and with her heavy fur coat, the winter was nothing to her. She laid out in the snow, it was the summer that I had to endlessly rake and groom her to try to get that heavy fur thinned. I would comb bags of fur out of her. I recently the last few years would shave her in the summer months... which she hated.

She could run like the wind and could perform tricks like sit, shake, lay down, roll over speak all for a treat or two of course. She loved to go for rides in the car and would get in anyones car if the door was left open. I miss her terribly, but I am comforted to know she had to be the happiest dog on Earth because the last 7 years she's had our 10 acres to run on and not be in a kennel or on a trolley line like she was at our other house. Plus, she was loved beyond compare by me and Daryl and Asher. She will live in my heart forever. What a sweet, sweet girl.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

No Banshee

Banshee still hasn't showed up. Asher and I drove all around on the four wheeler yesterday and came up with nothing. I stopped and talked to a farmer and hopefully he's on the lookout for her. I saw a buzzard circling a field and I tried to find the spot, but still came up with nothing. I thought I saw her laying in a bean field, but it was too far away to know for sure, so we walked up close enough to see and it turned out to just be plastic... thankfully.

I've been preparing Asher for her not coming back home but I think I'm more tore up about it than anyone. I don't think he understands the finality of it all. I've told him it's like Ma-maw going to heaven and not coming back. I was so upset and tearful yesterday and unable to hide it and Asher asks if I'm sad about Banshee and I said yes, so maybe he understands more than I realize. It's not looking like she's coming home. With this heat, I don't know how she could survive without water unless she's found a creek. I hate not knowing. I miss my Baby Girl.

Monday, May 24, 2010

Heavy Heart

I'm just sick today. Banshee has taken off again and I cannot find her anywhere. I looked everywhere I could yesterday, even in my car. 
As some of you know, we live out in the country and there are lots of places for her to be hidden from view in. In a final attempt before bed last night, I whistled with all my might and listened intently. I thought that I heard her, it was hard to tell because of all the bull frogs, but I dragged my husband out of bed and we grabbed our flashlights and headed into the woods. It was horribly humid and I ended up with nothing but cob webs in my face and itchy sweaty body. I guess it really was a frog.

It has been very hot the last 2 days and I just have horrible visions of her laying in the hot sun, no water and she hasn't had her pain pill since Saturday morning. I called the county animal control and left a message and I guess I've done all I can. I'm just so worried. I can't help but think this may be it, but the worst part is just not knowing, and to think she may be hurt and needing help. Please, send good thoughts and prayers my way.

These pictures were just taken May 19th. We were having a cool snap and Banshee loves that kind of weather.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Momentary lapse of reason

Have you ever had these? I'm not talking about the great album by Pink Floyd but those times that you make decisions without thoroughly thinking them through. I do that seemingly more and more. Without going into detail of all my absent minded decisions, I will tell you that I spend more time thinking "what was I thinking?" than actual thinking. Like giving a four year old a large glass of chocolate milk right before bed. Okay, I let one slip out.

I think I'm going to adopt "a momentary lapse of reason" as my new catch phrase and explanation of all possible unsavory decisions. Lately, during the repercussion of such decisions self-loathing and self doubt starts to creep in. I've started thinking of all the stupid things I've done or are still doing and wonder how have I gotten to this place? Why can't I stop myself? Most importantly, why do I continue to make such poor decisions and why can't I focus?

Is it turning 40? Is it being 40 with a 4 year old? Is it the beginning of life knowing that I don't know as much as I thought I did. I used to fancy myself as a fairly clever person but now maybe I'm clever enough just to realize that I've been wrong all along. Maybe this is the beginning of enlightenment. Albeit enlightenment too late, I've already made the bad decision or poor choice but enlightenment none the less.

Just where this post has gone is beyond me. I'm having a strange day. Here is a beautiful picture of the wheat field just down the road. I cannot tell you how relaxing this spot is. A warm setting sun on my face a gentle breeze in my hair and the red winged black birds singing their beautiful song in my ear... and then it ends. My son screaming from the car.

An update on the kitten situation... Mama cat has moved the kittens and I cannot find them anywhere. I also have not seen Mama for a couple days so I can only imagine the kittens are turning into ferocious felines without my constant handling like I had planned on doing. Also, Banshee (my husky) is doing well and the medicine seems to be making her more comfortable. She is getting some evening bouncing back and she is loving the new 4 treats a day crackers with Glucosamine in them.

Friday, May 14, 2010

Time flies

Wow, I can't believe it's been a week since I've posted last. Time sure flies as the saying goes and it does. I made it through Mother's Day with a few tears. This was my first Mother's Day without my mom and I sure miss her.

The new kittens are still here but now they are showing signs of extreme unfriendliess. I'm not happy about that at all. Today, Banshee found them and as I scolded her and made noise for her to get away from them I went to check on them to make sure nobody got stepped on or worse. As I picked them up to check them they were growling and spitting and carrying on like I was the enemy! I was insulted. If they only knew what an animal person I am. I am afraid they are gonna be wild and may not be tamed. They have spit at me before the other day, but I didn't exactly know that's what they were doing until it was more pronounced today. I can't have a bunch of wild cats around the house that I have to feed while they breed as their heart desires. What to do... I've been feeding Mama Cat but she still runs from me.

Tomorrow I have another art show at Audubon State Park in Henderson, KY. I hope the rain stays away, it's an outside show. There is Bluegrass for the entertainment. I hope we do well. I need to pack the truck now, so I'm off and I'll post about how it was asap.

Have a great weekend!

Friday, May 7, 2010

Sweet little babies

I had to share this today, I just found them. I knew the stray cat that won't let me get within 20 feet of her was pregnant and I knew it was getting close. If I could get ahold of her, she'd be fixed... but she is ferocious! She was stuck in Daryl's wood shop one day and we tried to carry her out... big mistake. She tore both of us up.

Looks unsuspecting doesn't it?

Look a little closer...

How about now?

How sweet is this? Their eyes are still closed. They are only a day or two old, maybe three but I doubt it.

D found them, and we're keeping them from Asher so they'll have a chance! haha He would want to hold them and play with them. Considering what he does to frogs (he tries to help them swim and takes them down the slide with him), they better stay out of his sight for a while. I am such a sucker for baby animals, I don't know what we are going to do. Hopefully they won't be wild, like Mamma.

Hope you enjoyed this little sweet miracle of life.

Thursday, May 6, 2010

What the?

I caught this just in time. Something must have buzzed by Banshee's head just as I snapped the picture. The look on her face is hilarious. For those of you not familiar with her normal looks, see here.
As you might be able to tell, the shaving is not going so well. I got a new blade for my clippers that is supposed to be for matted dogs and let me tell you, I have a new appreciation for dog groomers out there. I don't remember having this hard of a time with her before. I guess I usually rake her first (that is getting the undercoat removed by this rake looking brush) and that must make the difference. I do a little at a time, as it thoroughly ticks her off. She is getting pretty grumpy in her old age. She used to just roll over and take it, not now. She snapped and bit quite a lot today. I told her that we needed to come to an understanding. She's not buying it.

Not to be outdone, here is Asher dancing in the sand :)

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Wanted to share

We had the most breathtaking sunset last night. Later more thunderstorms, some real boomers too. I love this time of year. I had to share this picture with everyone. This is just up the road from our house. We are kinda in a little valley so I drove out of the trees and up a bit to get this view. This is the wheat field I found Banshee in the other day. It isn't quite as brilliant as my original photograph. When I make a low resolution version for the web, it zapps some of the brilliancy. I zoomed in real close and I cannot explain what those little orb looking things are on the left side. Maybe they are my protective spirits around me and Asher. I do see them in some pictures but not all. They kinda defy gravity. Anyway, I like them. They bring a little mystery to the picture.

Monday, May 3, 2010

Ah well it's Monday

So... to pick up my Banshee story, Saturday night we had even more storms and they scared my poor baby girl outta her wits but she would not come in the house, silly girl. She was gone again Saturday night which bothered me to no end knowing what had happened to her in the wheat field. I whistled and called and whistled some more, and I've got a good whistler, believe me! No Banshee. Storming and dark, there was nothing I could do but hope she had nestled herself down somewhere dry.

Morning came and I was looking for her now by daylight... much easier. I held my breath as I looked out into the lake... my biggest fear for my son and now my nearly blind, arthritic, geriatric, stubborn sweet Siberian Husky. There she was!!! My poor girl, I nearly swallowed my tongue as I gasped and screamed her name. She was on the edge thank God because our lake is deep and steep and goes down quickly to 25 feet. I ran out to her with Asher on my heels. I tried to get her in and she must've been hurting and scared, she snapped and bit me on the hand. No bother. I tried again. No luck. I had to run in and wake my tired husband to retrieve her. He got her out and we wheeled her up the hill in Asher's wagon.

I'm beginning to think she is part cat with the 9 lives and all. She was tired and hungry (a good sign). I gave her more asprin and she sprang back to life within an hour! Almost trotting along side the car as I attended an art show called Arts in Harmony to see all the work and visit some friends who were selling there. More on that later.

Today (Monday) I took her to the vet, got her looked at and her heart is fine and we are trying her out on Rimadyl once a day. I hope it works for her. The asprin has done wonders actually and I hope this will do even better. I was told though and almost scolded by my vet about her coat. He told me my first priority is to get her shaved. Ugh. She is an outside dog and absolutely has to be the happiest dog on Earth because she has the fields beside us to run and the woods and our large expanse of yard and has she got the cockoburls, sticks and clumps and pine needles, sap and you name it, it's in there. Every year I get out my trimmers and scissors and rake and try to cut that stuff down. I do try to maintain it year round to no avail. She can be brushed and then run into the field and you would never know that I just spent 2 hours trimming, combing and brushing and fussin' and cussin'. Not to mention how much she detests it. I did send her to be groomed (shaved) one year and it was $65 (not bad) but came back with cuts all over her! That's when I bought the heavy duty trimmers.

So today for about 3 hours after the vet I trimmed and cut and fussed and cussed and tried to do the best I could and only got about a quarter of her done. I'm after new blades Tuesday, maybe that will make it easier. She is not appreciating this act of love in the least. Testy and old and probably sore she growled, nipped and then licked me with her ears down being submissive and fussed and probably cussed at me in doggy talk. It's on again Wednesday, Banshee... look out.
This video was just taken this past March 10th, 2010! See her running and bouncing! She has a great spirit. Just the sweetest baby girl.

Check back for more drama.

Saturday, May 1, 2010

Where is my Baby Girl??

I'm very worried today, my beautiful and sweet Banshee, a Siberian Husky, who is about 11 has not been seen in 24 hours. I fear the worst. She has been having a hard time getting up and for some strange reason lately when not sleeping, she wanders the yard and circles the house over and over, like for hours! Well maybe not hours, but a very long time.

I looked everywhere with a flash light for her last night. I whistled and she always comes when I whistle, but not last night. She did not eat, it stormed and I am beside myself. All the while trying to act normal around Asher. We live way out in the country and she is allowed to wander around and usually sticks around our property. We inherited a "Lassie" dog when we moved in our home, named Lexy, and she ran off to die, I can only assume. I looked for days for her and never found her. I still look when I walk around in our woods but have never found her. I didn't have the same connection as I do with Banshee, but I still was very saddend when she was gone. It's that feeling of never really knowing that is so hard. I hope Banshee comes home. She is very nearly blind now and I am so scared she will not ever return.

Right after I posted this I went looking for her again. I found her! She was down in a gulley in a wheat field, poor thing. Her sweet little head was poking above the green. She is not a barker and I just happend to see her. Thank God! I could tell she couldn't walk or get up. I went down to her, I hope the farmer understands! She couldn't even stand. I picked her up and carried her uphill to my car in the mud all the while trying to be as careful as I could. She is in sad shape because her poor little back end is collapsing on her. She has been having trouble with that and I guess it is getting worse. I called a friend who worked for vet for a long time and asked her what I could do for her. Our vet is closed and the emergency service is terribly expensive. I know it is not a life or death situation or I would just charge it, no matter the cost. She is drinking and eating. I have given her the right amount of aspirin to hopefully ease her discomfort and we will be making a trip to the vet on Monday. My friend said her dog is on a pill for arthritis and it is about $3 a day. ouch. But she also said there are other medicines to try and my dog is about 1/3 the size hers is. So thank you for your prayers that were sent my way! She's home :D


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