I promise not to have many of these sad posts... but I had to write this and get it out.
Sunday, December 6, 2009
I so miss Mom. I can't seem to look at anything and not think of her. Every song I hear, clothes I wear, so many things in my home from her, even my cell phone. My dad is now using her phone and she had a special ring to it that sounded to me like angels. Today he called me and for the most brief moment I thought "oh! Mommy!" talk about your heart feeling like it was just yanked from your chest and squeezed! My dad has been in Florida the last week and I called him today to check on his driving progress and it went to her voicemail. It still has her voice on it and while it makes me smile to hear her... tears just pour. I can't even go to church without just balling through the whole thing because I always took her and now it's just me there. Nothing like walking around all day Sunday looking like a washed out blowfish from my makeup rubbing off and face swelling from crying. It isn't pretty. Not to mention the day long headache from sobbing.