I'm working on a pastel painting at the moment, it's still of course a work in progress. "Roses for the Dead". You may remember seeing the drawing from some post from who knows when. I fall in love with pastels every time I use them. I don't know why I stop and go to other things. Paints for some reason just beckon me with their come hither texture and fabulous colors not to mention I find such delight in just admiring my palette. There's just something so romantic about holding a brush in your hand. Okay, I'm a little crazy.
But what a fickle medium it is, I have these marvelous paintings in my mind and for some reason the end result gets hacked by either the paints, the brushes or technique. It can't possibly be me, right? haha Do you ever feel like you have no control over what you're doing?
Well I got the girls squished this week, Tuesday to be precise and then just yesterday I got the dreaded letter in the mail saying I have to go back in for "an ultra sound and further evaluation". Great. Just what I need, a week of worry and fret. I can't get back in until next Thursday. Pass the wine bottle please. I think I'll just stay drunk until then.
The chirpy girl on the other end of the phone was all "now this is all routine, it doesn't mean anything" Well if it doesn't mean anything then why the hell do I have to go back?!! I knew that technician was too good to be true. She didn't hurt me at all. She should've flattened those puppies out. At least now the pain would be gone and maybe now I would not be worried.
Ah so maybe I'm got a self portrait here... just kidding. Other than that, I have tinnitus now in my left ear from probably coughing my head off and I just got back from having my eyes dilated. So I can't see a damn thing. If there's typo's I'm sorry but it's the doctors fault. I was sure I had macular degeneration. So far their just floaters, probably from coughing hard for so long. But I'm supposed to be looking for a black curtain, a sign of a torn retina. Wonderful.
Let's see, is there anything else I can complain about? Not at this moment. Check back later though ;)
Happy Paint Party Friday! (I'm back!)
P.S. I've a quick question for everyone. Are the words too small and hard to read for you? It seems small to me, but I'd like your opinions.
UPDATE: I have an update on my mammogram that I had to have "further evaluation" on. I got great news yesterday (Thurs. 2/9/12). I had my mammogram redone yesterday and everything is fine. No cancer! I am so relieved. The doctor was pointing at these little lines that crossed over in my x-rays that he was showing me but it all looked the same to me. Good thing that's not my job! Anyway, thanks for all the nice things you all said and well wishes and prayers. I love our support group here in blogland.
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Hey Jaime,
ReplyDeleteWell first up I'm loving this pastel piece I can't wait til it's finished!!! I also love the idea of pastels but whenever I use them my work never turns out like I plan I just can't seem to control them properly but you look to be doing a wonderful job so far!
Sorry to hear about your health issues, I'm not sure exactly what you are going through but I do know how you feel. About a month ago I spotted a mole on my back that had suddenly changed, (big warning sign) so I went to the drs and had it removed, she assured me she thought it was fine but got it tested anyway and I can tell you that for that week I was a ball of worry even though she told me I was probably fine. You can't help but worry. Hang in there my dear!!! Hope you are feeling better soon (oh I also emailed you on facebook re: our sistahs project) not sure if you got it, facebook can be funny sometimes! xxxx
Jaime! What a week! I'm sure everything will be fine. I must go get squished myself...
ReplyDeleteThis is looking great so far!
Hi Jaime. Love your roses and skelly. Pass me some wine too.:) Don't worry yourself, be positive. That happened to me two years ago. Tests for further evaluation but all was okay and last year it was a hop and a skip. We all worry about this, but the best thing we can do is think positive. Take care of yourself. ::sending good thoughts::
ReplyDeleteOh my goodness!!! This is amazing!!! I LOVE IT!44
ReplyDeleteLuLu~*xoxo
Words are fine ~ Creation is wonderful and I do think so many people have this dreadful cold ~ do feel better soon ~ namaste, carol (Share the Creative Journey) Happy PPF ^_^
ReplyDeleteOh goodness,Jaime. I'll keep you in my thoughts - I am sure things will be fine. :) Sorry the week is not going well - please don't get TOO drunk. Your new work is looking good - try to focus on the painting and not worry too much. We'll all be thinking good thoughts for you.
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear you are having health issues, can fully sympathise with you as am waiting for results myself....Wine helps a lot so does gin and tonic.........lol
ReplyDeleteLoving your work in progress. Take care. Happy PPF, Annette x
The skellies are gorgeous!
ReplyDeleteHave another glass of wine sweetie, it sounds as if things have been a little rough on ya as of late. I'll have one too =)
The letters are a little small but that could just be because I am also in need of an eye check.
I JUST went through "further evaluation" last month. the day I got the letter I pretty much had myself buried - was visualizing all the instructions I'd need to leave for my husband. of course it was all fine, and I guess in the long run I'd rather go through a few days of worry than have them miss something, but jeez louise. pass the wine indeed. And the font is a wee bit small for my suddenly-aging eyes - but maybe it's just because my eyes are ALSO full of floaties. but what were we talking about? oh yes - your fabulous work in progress which is coming along very nicely! and I totally thought I was following your blog, but I guess I'm not because I realized I haven't been over here in a long time. rectifying that situation. consider yourself followed.
ReplyDeleteWonderful WIP!! I hope everything is going to be fine.
ReplyDeleteTake care of yourself and try not to think to hard through the coming week. (Sounds so easy, right!) I'll be thinking of you and praying.
ReplyDeleteI just bought a set of pastels. Haven't opened the box yet. To be honest they intimidate me much more than paint! I love your new art though and it might be just what I needed to see to inspire me to try out the new medium.
Hugs,
Brandy
So sorry to hear about your week of worry, just know that all over the world we are all hoping for the best for you!
ReplyDeleteI love, love, LOVE your painting! And I totally get what you're saying about the pastels being easier to control, I think maybe it's because they're more like drawing? Anyway, I NEVER painted until I started teaching my high school students how to paint and somehow along the course of teaching them, I taught myself! SO don't give up, the talent is definitely there for ALL to see! When you get discouraged, just go back and look and look at all the paintings you HAVE accomplished- beautiful ALL!
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry about all the health stuff, I'll never forger how I felt last year when I was going through something similar. If you need talk, please email me- I'm here for you my sista!
Extra big (((((hug)))))
Love ya,
Steph
Hey Jaime! Let's get some positive thoughts flowing here...ok?!? It really is routine, especially if the insurance company can bilk your doctor or lab out of more $...so don't let it worry you...pretty please. And as beautiful as your painting is...she is NOT you!!! happy drinking...I mean...paint party Friday!
ReplyDeleteLove your Skull and Roses! Don't start planning any funerals yet. When you are young, breast tissue can be dense and further evals are a good thing. You want to be sure! I appreciate a thorough technician! Had my eyes dilated last week. Makes me feel like an alien with boog eyes! Hang in there and don't worry about anything until you get more info. I am a breast cancer survivor going on 20 years. Just have another glass of wine and keep doing this fantastic art....it is relaxing!
ReplyDeleteinteresting Skull and Roses, the contrast gets one's attention! A lot of people have floaters (hate to say as one gets older!)...harmless enough usually, and you got it checked out.
ReplyDeleteLove it!
ReplyDeleteLove the pastel in progress.I absolutely admire pastel artists,I just can't get on with this medium.Sorry about the scare you're going through at the moment,I'm sure everything will be fine.The best thing you can do to pass the time is throw yourself into your art and keep writing your wonderful posts.Communication definitely lightens the load.
ReplyDeleteIf you're still coughing try sucking a piece of fresh ginger,it works a dream.xxx
Dang, what a week you've had! Well, I hope all your worries are for nothing, and the wine helps your cough.
ReplyDeleteLove the pastel. I'm a morbid kind of girl, when there is something to worry over, I want to wallow in it!
Hell, that is a sucky week ! I definitely think wine will be in order to help you through. I am sending light and love and healing wishes and I have a feeling that all will be well for you, for whatever that is worth.
ReplyDelete(Yes - your font is very tiny ! So don't worry about your eye sight ! Hugs !)
Good grief don't ya just love doctors?! Ugh!Been through the same thing with the squishing, now I tell them to take it to the limit, yer right , the pain is not as bad as the worrying! Same thing happened with my PAP, worry, worry worry for nothing, I'm seriously thinking of skipping it for a few years cuz all their false alarms are gonna give me a heart attack,lol!!!!!
ReplyDeleteLove it!! I am all for the wine.. lol I know it's going to be a long week.. I went thru this last year...I don't think they think about how these things affect us.. when its just routine to them...am sure it's nothing but nice to be on top of it..keep busy and the week will go quicker..
ReplyDeleteI bought a set of metallic pastels the other day.. haven't opened them yet.. really have never used pastels.. they kind of scare me...lol but can't pass up shiny things...do you have to use a fixative on them when you are done? What is the best back to use them on? canvas... paper??
Big hugs...
Kath
xx
Yes. Small words.
ReplyDeleteBig Heart.
And I wish you were here.
I am a great mother-ly person.
With a big box of wine.
And a reserve.
And I am in great need of a lesson from you...
I wanna do roses like that!
This is fantastic art Jaime!
How quickly can you get here?
Bring Aiden :)
♥♥♥