I think I'm going to adopt "a momentary lapse of reason" as my new catch phrase and explanation of all possible unsavory decisions. Lately, during the repercussion of such decisions self-loathing and self doubt starts to creep in. I've started thinking of all the stupid things I've done or are still doing and wonder how have I gotten to this place? Why can't I stop myself? Most importantly, why do I continue to make such poor decisions and why can't I focus?
Is it turning 40? Is it being 40 with a 4 year old? Is it the beginning of life knowing that I don't know as much as I thought I did. I used to fancy myself as a fairly clever person but now maybe I'm clever enough just to realize that I've been wrong all along. Maybe this is the beginning of enlightenment. Albeit enlightenment too late, I've already made the bad decision or poor choice but enlightenment none the less.
Just where this post has gone is beyond me. I'm having a strange day. Here is a beautiful picture of the wheat field just down the road. I cannot tell you how relaxing this spot is. A warm setting sun on my face a gentle breeze in my hair and the red winged black birds singing their beautiful song in my ear... and then it ends. My son screaming from the car.
An update on the kitten situation... Mama cat has moved the kittens and I cannot find them anywhere. I also have not seen Mama for a couple days so I can only imagine the kittens are turning into ferocious felines without my constant handling like I had planned on doing. Also, Banshee (my husky) is doing well and the medicine seems to be making her more comfortable. She is getting some evening bouncing back and she is loving the new 4 treats a day crackers with Glucosamine in them.
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Is it a momentary lapse of reason or a way to stop and smell the flowers? Or you probably could blame it on being in the 40's- I just had my 42nd birthday 3 weeks ago and I *know* I used to be able to get more done and feel so much less frazzled.....
ReplyDeleteHang in there girl, a couple of bouts of absent-tee- mindedness have nothing to do with your level of cleverness ;)
I am so glad that Banshee is doing better!
ReplyDeleteLuLu♥
Thanks for looking and commenting on my Blog!! Sometimes I wonder if anyone is actually reading it!!! I just ❤'d both of your Etsy shops... will go back to take a better look later! xoxox
ReplyDeleteOh my gosh, Jaime... that wheat field! It looks like a slice of heaven, and I want to be there! And red-winged blackbirds? Lucky girl! We don't have them around here, at least not that I have seen. They are gorgeous creatures though.
ReplyDeleteGlad that Banshee is doing better and enjoying her treats!
As for your lapse of reason, well, just wait til you hit 50 and start forgetting things altogether! I think lapses of reason come from being too busy, our brains on overdrive and all our wires crossed! Women get that way, moms even moreso! Good luck, sweetie, and hang in there... and visit that wheat field more often!
I also have many moments where I realise I've put my keys in the fridge instead of the milk, or something! I like to think it's because my mind's on much higher things ;)
ReplyDeleteI also like Stephanie's explanation - "is it a momentary lapse of reason or a way to stop and smell the flowers?" x
What a beautiful field! I'd love to be there in it. :) I have lapses in reason EVERY day. Sometimes I truly don't know whether I'm coming or going. LOL I think it happens to us all - you are not alone. :) Take care...Theresa
ReplyDeleteI'm late in commenting, but have been in my own state of "lapse of reason" complicated by allergy medicine! So glad Banshee is responding and feeling better. Guess those little kittens will have to be feral. So sad! I agree with Rebecca. That field is a "slice of heaven". My mind calmed down just gazing at it so I printed a copy to hang over my computer! Thanks so much for sharing!
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