Saturday, January 8, 2011

Monsters are back and/or the Bullet Train

Let us out!!
I said NOW!

I don't think I mentioned it, but I got the boys sniped and nipped this week. That is, they were neutered and declawed. I was going to say castrated, but isn't that such a hurtful word? I really am not entirely sure if they were indeed castrated because all their "junk" is still there. In fact, since they were shaved "back there" for the procedure all their junk now protrudes out for all to see. Ick. I would post a pic, but it's practically pornographic. Asher is like what's that?? He also asked me this week why I pee outta my butt. Hmmm... now how would YOU answer that one. Remember he is 4. He will be 5 in March.

Now wait a minute before some of you animal people out there get all over me for declawing the boys, just take this in a moment. Imagine a world (my house) that is covered in wall to wall, floor to ceiling carpet and the monsters, I mean kittens have velcro on their feet. Now imagine them running at the speed of light round and round in circles on all four walls, knocking down everything in their path. Pictures, curtains, plants, etc. That was them. I have puncture wounds still in my legs and waist from them deciding that they needed to be on my back... while I was standing there as an innocent bystander. Or the umpteen times they pulled the curtains down, rod and all with their evil plans to wait for you like a sniper and jump on your head as you again innocently walk by. Monsters I tell you. I don't really have wall to wall carpet, I actually have wood flooring for the most part but I needed to tell you this for the effect. ;^)

So, I giggle when I see them jump up on the couch or trying for those curtains now... muh hhahahahahahhahaha. What a confused look on their little monster faces! Don't get me wrong, they are still the cutest little things, but so are raccoons until you get one cornered and then they're rabid vicious little things! If it makes you feel better I put up the extra money to have them taken out by laser and they are doing great. I still love the little guys, you just won't hear me screaming at them as much now.

It's been a long time since I've had to deal with a cat that's just been declawed because I had forgotten that you have to give them shredded newspaper to do their business in. What a pain in the ass that is (forgive me). I've been shredding it in vain I think because today I went to change the papers and discovered they had all 3 been peeing outside of the shredded part and on the paper laid out on the floor to catch the accidents and spills. I also discovered they have been pooping under the stairs as did Zoey as I rounded the corner just in time to see her chowing down on a turd... ZOEY!!!!!  Argh... So now I'm yelling up the stairs to Asher "Don't let Zoey lick you! She just ate cat poop!" Of course he comes running down the stairs to see and right into Zoey, his face right at her licking height and of course she licks him. Ugh. Nasty.
gingerly opening the door and Lightning tip toeing out, then...
Look out for the Bullet Train!
Lightning was so fast, he shot out of that cage like a rocket. Notice I barely caught the end of his tail in this shot. Even Thunder was thinking "I'm outta here!"
I got you Babe.
Thunder and Lightning are extremely loveable with us and each other. Look how sweet Thunder is hugging his brother. They even lick each others butts, now that is brotherly love... haha sorry, I had to add that because they do. They all really are disgusting little creatures, all the animals. I try not to think of that too much though because I do treasure all of their little hearts. What would life be without animals (besides less aggravation, haha)? Not as happy, I think.

Oh, and thanks for all the well wishes on the annual boob smushing. All went well, as well as peeling your boob off plastic after she tells you to switch can go. She finished me up and then rolled my boobs up off the floor for me. I then just threw them over my shoulder, grabbed a mint and got outta there as fast as I could. Good Riddance! Today I got the All Clear letter, so I'm good for another year! Yay!
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  1. oh my Miss Artsy-Fartsy, I loved this post. First lets discuss your mammo. I wonder how much those boob lifter techs get paid. Also, do they notice the difference in the boobs? Do they come home and say "hey hon, I lifted a ten pounder today" or what?! I think that would be a cushy job. Assuming there is no boob sweat involved. When I garden I sweat a little under my boobs-I thought you might need to know this little tidbit for future reference, never know when this could come up as a conversation starter.
    And the cats. I love how cats will wait around the corner to scare the shit out of you. Or tag your leg and run like "you're it". The licking and pooping gets to me too. I have dogs and they smell w/in 2 days of having a bath-yes I pay attention to these things. When we all awake each day in my bedroom there is a doggy odor mixed with morning breath that I find a little whiffy. However, their slavish devotion tends to offset the smelly ears, constant farting and endless private part licking that I find so distasteful. I would very much enjoy watching your kittens leap and fall w/no claws-supposing noone gets hurt!

    More Later,


  2. You know what they say....dogs and cats lick their balls because they can! Declawing is a sticky issue and I'm for it if you can be sure the little darlings will always be indoors. My indoor cats have their claws, but we don't have too many problems. My Dallas friend (with her leather furniture) has all her cats (5) declawed. Love the photos!

  3. Aw, those kitty darlings are so cute! Awkward questions to answer from your little boy though, good luck with that one! My cat is sat watching me type right now very intently (she has just read this and looked away like she's not really interested LOL) so I guess it's time for some supper :-D happy weekend!

  4. I totally don't know what you can tell Asher! LOL Perhaps Daddy can handle that one. :) I understand why you declawed the kitties - no one judges you. But they do have to be strictly indoor kitties - now that their natural defenses are gone. So happy to hear you got the clear on your mammogram - that's great news! Theresa

  5. Oh thanks so much for the laughs.....peeing out your butt? I remember getting questions like that, I just can't remember how I answered them!
    And I understand about the declawing, it's been a long time since we had kittens around, but I do remember the daily ambushes :)
    The reason our pets are so adorable and lovable is so we keep in spite of their disgusting of our cats considers it his personal duty to keep our garden cleared of moles and chipmunks which is great for the garden but SO nasty for me to come across his beheaded trophies he so proudly leaves for me- ugh! Yep, very good thing they are cute!

  6. You had me snickering all the way through this post from boobs to butt licking. Thunder & Lightening are so dang cute! My sweet Opie Taylor has been nipped and clipped. He's strictly an indoor kitty. No shredded legs from him mistaking me for a tree, furniture and drapes plus no spraying, yowling and "stuff"....

    When my son, Jake, was Asher's age I overheard him telling a little neighbor girl how to tell our boy kittens from the girls. He held a little female kitten up, turned her around so they could see her tail, and proudly announced, "See... Girls have nothin' but a butt!"
    Sigh.... I guess that about sums it up, doesn't it? Adorable post and pics!

  7. They are darling little boys-be happy the sniff each other's bum-that is them making sure the other one is who they think it is. Strange I know.


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